Monday, April 18, 2005
Name Changing Nomenclature
The issue of having bride change her last name to the grooms has been seeping into my mind. I've been hesitant to address this subject with the fiance or anybody else because I don't exactly know where I stand.
If I were to hold the position that I desire her to change her name to mine, then in essence I symbolically wipe out her past. I take posession of her as my own. Now I'm hardly the overbearing, traditional, possessive type. I want her to be her own person. I'm in love with her as a person not as an object.
If I were to hold the position that I want her to keep her last name then I could be accused of trying to jinx the marriage. People would say that the marriage isn't taken seriously and that we would be trampling over tradition.
If I were to hold the position that she could hyphen our names together then I would have to do the same otherwise be accused of bigotry due to thinking that she should suffer the hyphenated name while I go about unhyphenated. If I take on the hyphenated name I would be considered an effeminate by my male peers for doing something that is so associated with women. Family would disapprove because they consider a hyphenated name hoity-toity and pointless.
My fiance has no brothers. None of her uncles on her father's side have had any male heirs. I have been told that her last name ends with her father. I would feel guilty if I was responsible for her deciding to change her name. Then again, what would that do but delay the conflict. What would our children's last name end up being?
I wouldn't want our children to have to explain that their parents aren't divorced, but rather have a progressive marriage. When they would have to write their names on the chalk board or on a name tag the kids in the class would be likely to tease them for such a long name. They would end up being ridiculed and taunted, forever to hate their parents for their ill fated decision.
No, the best thing is for us to change our last name to a mutually agreed upon name. Maybe Diaboli, Absurdum, Arcana, Scribendi, Imperium or Redivivus. Those would set the child apart. Kids would ask "what does your name mean?" And he or she would respond "ABSOLUTE POWER!!!!!"
I don't think that would actually happen. The fiance and I would probably come to the decision to follow tradition. She has recently become the traditional type and I don't think that she'll take this issue any differently than the rest.
Oh well, it would've been nice to change my last name to the latin form of the phrase "Come back to life". Maybe it would've worked...
If I were to hold the position that I desire her to change her name to mine, then in essence I symbolically wipe out her past. I take posession of her as my own. Now I'm hardly the overbearing, traditional, possessive type. I want her to be her own person. I'm in love with her as a person not as an object.
If I were to hold the position that I want her to keep her last name then I could be accused of trying to jinx the marriage. People would say that the marriage isn't taken seriously and that we would be trampling over tradition.
If I were to hold the position that she could hyphen our names together then I would have to do the same otherwise be accused of bigotry due to thinking that she should suffer the hyphenated name while I go about unhyphenated. If I take on the hyphenated name I would be considered an effeminate by my male peers for doing something that is so associated with women. Family would disapprove because they consider a hyphenated name hoity-toity and pointless.
My fiance has no brothers. None of her uncles on her father's side have had any male heirs. I have been told that her last name ends with her father. I would feel guilty if I was responsible for her deciding to change her name. Then again, what would that do but delay the conflict. What would our children's last name end up being?
I wouldn't want our children to have to explain that their parents aren't divorced, but rather have a progressive marriage. When they would have to write their names on the chalk board or on a name tag the kids in the class would be likely to tease them for such a long name. They would end up being ridiculed and taunted, forever to hate their parents for their ill fated decision.
No, the best thing is for us to change our last name to a mutually agreed upon name. Maybe Diaboli, Absurdum, Arcana, Scribendi, Imperium or Redivivus. Those would set the child apart. Kids would ask "what does your name mean?" And he or she would respond "ABSOLUTE POWER!!!!!"
I don't think that would actually happen. The fiance and I would probably come to the decision to follow tradition. She has recently become the traditional type and I don't think that she'll take this issue any differently than the rest.
Oh well, it would've been nice to change my last name to the latin form of the phrase "Come back to life". Maybe it would've worked...
# posted by T.S. Idiot @ 3:35 PM 
