An Engaging Predicament

Chafed ears, irritated lobes, and a kink in my neck from working while on the phone with the little lady for hours... This is engagement. Not that I mind it. She's very excited, and she is so adorable when she gets all energized. Her eyes dart around and her usually laconic nature blossoms into a garrulous garden of conversation. Just the thought makes me smile... but then I feel the pain in my ear.

I just finished a phone call with the fiancé. She read to me all the potential greetings for cards that will accompany flowers that are for the purpose of summoning sisters and sisters-in-law to act as bride's maids. I must admit that at first I was quite entertained. They were all poems, using flowery adjectives, playing on metaphors, and using symbolism quite well. Unfortunately, after the fourth poem, I started to lose my interest. I erupted in yawns and made several attempts to focus. It was like watching a gardening show; its very beautiful, but eventually you can't distinguish daisy from daffodil.

In no way do I want to become the typical groom that sits back and lets the bride and her maids arrange the whole event. This isn't just about being congenial, its also about being selfish. This is my wedding and reception as well, and if I'm going to be a part of this whole thing I better have a say. I offered my fiancé the option of relegating all decisions to me and that I'd handle the entirety of the wedding. Needless to say, she didn't accept my offer.

We talked about how we would like to get married long before I ever proposed. She said that she'd want everybody to be extremely comfortable; no need for matching dresses or typical roles of maid, maid of honor or flower girl. She wanted simplicity. She didn't want to wear white, nor get married in a church. This was the dream-bride in my opinion. I couldn't ask for a more laid back woman to enjoy the wedding experience with... it didn't last.

All it took was having the families know that we were getting married for her to change her mind. Now she wants a white dress, matching bride's maids, a ceremony in a church, and all the other niceties that end up making a special occasion between a man and woman into a spectacle centered on entertaining all those that attend. Maybe, I'm being selfish... I do spend much more time with my girl than I ever will with any potential guest. But it is still a day to celebrate the bond of love between the bride and the groom... Fuck I'm naive!

Weddings are about money! You pay crazy prices to caterers, venues, DJ's, photographers, videographers, limos, churches, priests, travel companies, etc... All for the sake of entertaining people so they won't feel so bad for giving the bride and groom money. And the bride and groom are hoping to get enough money to pay off all the expenses incurred during the wedding and still have enough left over to have a down payment on a home. Money!

Why do I need to travel this path? I have money. I wonder how willing my girl is to cancel everything and just elope. I can predict her arguments: the memories are worth it, they'll last a lifetime, we'll regret it eventually if we don't have a big wedding with all our family, our family members will be disappointed, we can always use the extra cash... And of course, I will acquiesce, because even though the marriage is supposed to be solely about the bride and groom, there are other people that want to celebrate with you.

Fuck it! Let's all go to Vegas, get married by Elvis, and paint the town red!!!
God my ears hurt...